Monday, 30 May 2016


I didn't know i was so important. So threatening. Really, i am a short woman, not well built. I can't knock anyone off even if i wanted to. I have no money. My parent is not rich. Nor is she famous. I am in no power position. I am a student and i am struggling to make a film.
So on 30th May 2016, when the chairperson Mr Partha Ghose, called for a meeting of all faculty, little did i know that the agenda for it would be 'what shall we do to kunjila'. Well, that was what it was. So the chairperson who had a few days ago bestowed the wisdom that 'taali ek haath se nahi bajta' (you can't clap with just one hand, when i complained about the harassment the student community was subjecting me to) called a meeting of all faculty members and asked what was to be done with me. I was maligning the name of the institute and was swearing at professors on social media. Surely, i had to be punished? Also, the unsaid backstory,

1. I complained against sexual harassment on campus.
2. I said that a professor had raped me
3. I said that another professor had sexually harassed me
4. I said that the institute was a hub of drunkards and weed doers who chose to make life of other students miserable after they indulged in these,
5. I said that one of the professors was guilty of instigating students into committing sexual harassment
6. I said that one of the professors engaged in absolute hate speech in company of students. I made public a video which proved the same
7. I exposed the misogynist the chairperson Partha Ghose is.
8. I wrote to the Ministry of I&B saying the same.

Oh wait. What was that again?
Yes. I wrote a letter to the Ministry of I&B explaining the harassment Mr Partha Ghose subjected me to. I made that letter public. When an activist made a petition seeking the resignation of Mr Partha Ghose for the same reason, i shared the petition and asked fellow fighters to sign it. And the next thing i know the man calls for a meeting of faculty members and discusses what shall be done with me? Yes.

So why is it that a room full of people who are more than double my age decided to write a letter against me? Because i am what is wrong with SRFTI? You must be joking.

I have written to the ministry again this way.

Dear authority,
I have repeatedly written to you talking about the tremendous amount of harassment i am being subjected to in SRFTI. I have received no reply. Yesterday, i got to know from a professor who had attended the meeting themselves that the chairperson of the institute, Mr. Partha Ghose had called a meeting of all faculty members. The agenda of the meeting was 'what shall be done to kunjila'. Is this permissible? In the meeting it was decided that all the faculty members shall file a complaint against me because i have been maligning the reputation of the institute. It was no surprise because Mr. Partha Ghose himself had earlier told me that 'we shall not wash SRFTI's dirty linen in public'. This is a deliberate attempt to stall the shoot of my diploma project which is scheduled to begin on 9th June. Other than exposing the chairperson of his attitude towards women and sexual harassment, other than bringing out the truth about certain professors here, what is it that i have done to deserve this? Are the above mentioned things crimes? I know they are not.
Please intervene immediately and stop this lobbying of the chairperson and faculty members against me. I have only stood by the truth and will continue to do so till the end of my life. If SRFTI decides to kill me, then i will continue doing that till the murder.
I don't know if i will get justice. Nor do i know if we will win this fight. I am summarising telling you what a day of a sexual harassment complainant is like. This is an average day. Sometimes it is worse. Sometimes it is even worse. This is not to say that it is hard. It is hard. But this, is to say that it is possible. I am alive up until now so anybody can do it. Unlike what Mr. Partha Ghose and the faculty here think of me, i am not a superhuman. It seems very difficult when you go through it but later you can just write it down like this and tell other women the same. That it is possible.

On 30th May 2016, i went to sleep at around 6 a.m. I had to leave for recce in the morning so i had to wake up at around 9 a.m. I did. I took my actor who had come all the way from Kerala for my project t for breakfast outside because mess serves bread on Mondays. Poori outside was better and cheaper. After that i set out to the department and printed the latest version of shot division. I wrote a letter to the director asking for the copy of the report submitted by ICC for sexual harassment. I got all the complainants to sign on it. I wrote another letter to the registrar because the guest house people told me that my actor couldn't stay there. I went to the registrar and he asked me to get a copy of it made and i spent ten minutes making his PA understand what a copy is. [From the time the receptionist at the guest house told me that my actor couldn't stay there my eyes had started welling up and never stopped till noon. It happens with me when i am depressed.] I went down to the reception and said that Vai Vow, my witness in one of the student cases in ICC, would not be able to come because he is in Maharashtra and that he would have to give his testimony on phone. The receptionist who is also a member of the student ICC told me that the ICC hearing was going on. Then i realized that it was 30th May. I called Vai Vow up and informed him of the situation. Babysitted him on what to do. Most adults around me including my own mother need babysitting when it comes to getting things done, writing letters etc. Yes, it is fucking irritating. I went back to the internet room and made some changes in my diploma schedule. I went to the sound department to issue equipment and was told that they would not issue it in my name. They needed a senior sound student. No senior sound student remains on campus who even talks to me. Ostracised me, remember. I was asked to go to my own department and get a sign from a faculty. I went to one staff and two faculty members. All of them refused for one reason or the other. I went to the HoD of the department and broke down in front of him saying what kind of harassment i had to face every day when my shoot was just around the corner. He said he would make an 'exception' for me. He said he would decide which equipment to be given. I did not get the equipment i asked for but had to be 'happy' that i had got it issued because, well, that's the way things are around sexual harassment complainants, especially me. After that me and most of my crew set out on recce. We went to Port Trust. We waited a long time there. We went to Deodar Street. We went to Jadavpur 8B, a lab there and a tailor shop there, both my locations. We went to Medica hospital. I had tea. I returned. I got the news of the meeting. I cancelled the rehearsals i was going to have with my actor because i was too disturbed. I spent some time talking to Vai Vow and realized i was awfully jealous of him because he did not have to face any of this before his shoot. I spoke to sister, mother visited, babysitted her again. Fought with sister, spoke to her, argued, gave up and facebooked. On facebook i was slut shamed again. Point number three which the senior student mentioned sounded like it came out of some mallu film. Only it was from a bengali film (student). Wrote letter to the ministry. Will go have tea in some time and have a goja because i am goddamn hungry. Then will be back, work on shot division, read Bresson, twist and turn in bed till dawn and fall asleep when i come up with some grand plan in my head which will save me from this torture. Tomorrow is a new day and it will bring me sunshine and laughter. Only, it won't.

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